SMOTCHIEVEMENTS

Leading TAo to go undefeated 974-0 in BC2

Leading TAo to go undefeated and retire at 1337-0

Best team to dominate next gen consololol BF4

Inventing competitive Battlefield on PS3

Creating strats that not even Sun-Tzu could think of

Gave on the spot guidance to TAo 1770 times in clan battles from April 1964 to April 2013

Emmy Award Winning Helicopter Montages

Defusing the Cuban Missile Crisis

Peace in the Middle East

Brought an end to world hunger

Touched Mila Kunis's butt (with his massive Smot Stick)

Taught Ron Jeremy the art of autofellatio

Did the Harlem Shake before it was cool (invented it, too)

Created the concept of multi-camera shooting in film

Colonized the moons of Jupiter

Helped lead the mission to stop an asteroid from colliding with Earth alongside Billy Bob Thornton in 1998. This was the inspiraton of the film, Armageddon.

9th degree black-belt in Tae Smot Do (Korean for "movement of the hand and Smot)

Perfected the art of flying upside-down

Sexiest man to sport a backwards baseball cap

Beat the communist snot out of Russia to end the Cold War

Conceptualized the Jihad Jeep before 1942

Won a Guitar Hero tournament with a real guitar

His toast always lands butter side up

Breeded a special species of Super-Sloth. It is named after its creator, the Smoth.

Makes Ryan Gosling break his cool

Won a match of Connect 4 with only three moves

Created the 2-sided dice