I have had the same problem, hope this help, if it does, please copy/paste for others.
Try these 4 steps.
1. download Google Chrome for your browser
2. I'm using Windows 7. on your desktop, right click, go to personalize, and make it Window 7 BASIC color scheme.
3. I have good graphics power, but I still turned all the graphic options to medium
4. This is the starting process I use to play.
DO NOT START ORIGIN
Start Google chrome
go to http://battlelog.battlefield.com/
[battlelog.battlefield.com] sign in
then pick the server you want to play
Now, the Origin sign-up will come up, sign in
VERY IMPORTANT, HERE IS THE KEY
When you see the BF 3 icon show up at the bottom of your screen in your menu bar, click it, it will go to full screen
Then immediately push Ctrl, Alt, DELETE which will bring up your task manager, and put BF 3 loading in a smaller screen, watch this screen until the game actual game (spawn screen) comes up.
Then just pick BF 3 in the task bar, and hit the switch to button on the task menu, which switches back to BF 3, and now you can play.
This has worked EVERY time for me, kinda of a pain, but it works.