Elitest Jackasses
Tag: [Ejac] Fans: 20 Created: 2013-07-10

Platoon Presentation

Elitest Jackasses [Ejac] was created by a coming together of the most elitest BF3 players in the game.

Do you have what it takes?

To be a member of this platoon, you must meet ALL of the following requirements; so read carefully:

1. Spend as much time as possible playing this game. The more hours you have, the more elitest it makes you.

2. Spend as much time as possible bragging on the internet about how good you are at this game and telling other people how bad they are. You contribute to Battle Reports & message boards hundreds of pages long. You are not just a warrior; you are a keyboard warrior!

3. Have a quit% over 20% to show how elitest you are at knowing when to quit so as not to affect your elitestness. Your stats are all that matter. If you are doing badly, or even if your team is destroying the other, you must quit or risk your SPM/KD not being elitest enough.

4. Spend most of your time on the mic complaining about the mechanics of the game (lag, tryhard weapons, quoting symthic, scrub tactics, campers, blueberries/smurfs, badmins, etc) Your shared knowledge of these things makes you more elitest. At no time should what you say be relevant to what is actually going on in the match. You are too elitest for that.

5. Spend most of your time in the menus waiting to play with friends or playing solo against noobs to pad your stats. Remember that when playing together in pubs, destroying only servers full of random noobs until the server dies will make you the elitest. When you play against friends or good players, you complain about the OP/Tryhard weapons they use or how their team was more stacked than yours. And as per requirement 2, make sure to complain as much as possible on the Battle Report to show how elitest you are.

6. Complain about CB's & Practices being unranked. How dare anyone ask you to spend a few of the many hours you put into this game to prove how elitest you are without it adding to your elitest stats. And no Battle Report to spam with how scrubby the other team was?! Unacceptable!!

7. Understand the satire and that if you actually DO meet ANY of the above 6 requirements,
you are already an Elitest Jackass. This is your invite! Apply today!! Welcome!!

Coming soon... for BF4 PS4


Platoon feed