Sasha Khazatsky

Enlisted 2011-11-04
Last seen 4 days ago

I haven't talked to my girlfriend in 18 months. I don't like to interupt her.

I dont use the word "retarded", I perfer "mentally halarious".

Is your name Victoria? Because I found your secret!

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Fighting for peace is like f***ing for virginity.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.