2015-03-24 00:16 , edited 2015-03-24 00:17 by jkynar
For my good friend rmahs
Bean jumped off, ripping the Nathaniel disguise off the French Fried bastard!
Bean did some unnecessary flips during the fall and stuck the dismount. Machina, JT, Nathaniel and even some anonymous thugs flipped score cards. As the judges totaled up, Bean noticed a prisoner with hands tied behind him and a bag over his head. It wasn't one of those tacky burlap bags that terrorists use, it was a tastefully designed shopping bag from Williams Sonoma. Bean's scores came in and he did pretty well, but it was not the time to contemplate his score. It was the time for things to happen, dadgumit!
Bean threw the Fries' disguise at Machina, blocking her view and ran towards JT.
"Close your eyes!"
He grabbed JT, threw down a flash grenade blinding everyone. He dropped down and lifted bag-face guy in a fireman's carry over his shoulder. They ran down the hall and could hear Machina order her thugs to pursue. It quickly became apparent that this place was a maze of tunnels. There were lots of pipes and occasional steam, bad lighting and things were very dirty as they wandered around the tunnels.
It was pretty apparent that no one knew their way around as Bean, bag-face and JT were quickly lost, but so apparently were their pursuers.
"So it looks like we're lost," said LL Bean.
"I've never been to this part of the U.S. synchronized jello dive team complex before. Perhaps I should do a report on it, government waste and all."
"Yeah, maybe, but wait a sec, do you still have the thingee?"
"I put it back in my hair." She pulled it out and body parts bounced egregiously, they may have even used CGI to get the ripples right.
"You don't even know how to use it, why'd you pull it out before anyway?"
"That's what she said. Uh... I mean seemed like the thing to do at the time."
"Well we're alive and all, what about your cameraman?"
"Earl? Eh, he's a tertiary character we'll just forget about him anyway, don't trouble yourself. I mean he didn't even have any lines."
"I guess that makes sense."
"So what DOES the thingee do anyway?"
"Hell if I know, I have amnesia and stuff, but it's gotta be important."
LL lowered bag-face to the ground forgetting to untie him. Bean and JT wandered around the dirty halls in a montage that indicated there might be a future love scene at some point. Bag-face man tried to follow them, bumping into walls as he went.
They came to a fork in the tunnels and there was a golden art deco double doorway that was surprisingly clean considering the rest of the place.
"Man, all this wandering around sure gets tiring, let's rest next to this golden door."
LL and JT sat on the stoop of the golden door. But bag-face man was unable to see where the door was and stumbled about until he eventually hit his head on a low hanging light fixture and landed near them.
"You know I think we've wandered into a completely different set. I think we're really far from that jello room," said JT as she paced the hallway in her mind.
"Yeah, I think you're right. And what's with this golden door? I mean it's a pretty crappy underground tunnel. Why would you put a golden door in it? Waste of money to me."
"I think it's just gold plated, that's cheaper."
As Bean and JT gave each other flirty looks, the lump known to them as bag-face made a noise.
"Did he just say something?"
"He probably just farted."
"No I didn't," mumbled bag-face.
Bean jumped into JT's arms in fright.
She dropped Bean, and they both walked over. Bean turned him over.
"Thank you young man. I have been listening to you two flirt and prattle on, but I detect that you would be sympathetic to my cause. I can't talk for long as having a bag over my face and my many other wounds is quite painful and tiring."
"You seem to be doing alright so far," snarked JT.
"Shut up. I don't have much time," and he coughed for several seconds. Mercifully Bean pulled the bag off of him revealing a simpler plain brown bag but with holes cut for the eyes.
"There, that's better. I am Gregor Gravitas former and hopefully future leader of The Apollo League. We are the premier Starbucks Empire resistance group, accept no substitute. That bitch Machina was a mole for the Starbucks Empire and is planning to take over the resistance and destroy it from within. We cannot let that happen. You must help me fight for truth, justice, and democracy instead of dark roasted dictatorship."
"Well, I'm in," smiled L.L. Bean.
"Me too," bounced JT.
A sudden look of surprise and realization came over Gregor Gravitas.
"You're Ladies Love Bean aren't you?"
"Why yes, how'd you know that?"
"Because you are one of our agents, what have they done to you? My poor boy."
"I really can't remember, but I'll take amnesia and wounds that have healed surprisingly fast due to movie magic over a permanent bag face anytime."
"Point taken. The last I saw you I sent you to steal the Eschaton Device from the S.W.A.R.M. courier before he delivered it to the Starbuck Empire. Do you still have it?"
JT took the thingee out of her hair.
"Wow, you are just full of information."
"I'm very important."
"Help me stand."
LL Bean helped Gregor Gravitas to his feet.
"Now that I can see out of my bag, things are looking up. We have the Eschaton device. I have dear LL Bean back with us and perhaps a place for you young lady. COUGH my lap COUGH COUGH."
They walked up to the golden doors and he attempted to put his hand on a flat plate - but they were still tied behind him and he wasn't able to reach that high.
"Do you supposed you could untie me?"
"Oh, yeah, sure," Bean replied loosening the bonds.
"Maybe we could save that rope for later," JT winked.
Bag man placed his hand on the plate. A golden metal hand emerged from the wall near the plate and he did one of those fancy handshakes that only black people know. The golden doors opened.
"Welcome to the super secret back door to the ultra-hidden underground base of the Apollo League."
And then JT kicked Gregor in the nuts for the 'my lap' comment.
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